As we approach the new year, many of us are setting new goals, trying to get our mind right by repeating the “New Year, New Me” mantra, and tying up lose ends from 2017 (breaking up with old boyfriends, reconnecting with family members). Even my family and I are setting some new goals to which we can hold each other accountable and event assist if needed. However, as goals are set, we tend to realize that most of them are tangible goals. “I want to travel to…”, “I want to make more money…”, or even “I want to lose weight”. The daunting task of New Year Goal Setting –identifying everything that needs to be left in the prior year and the prioritizing the things that need to be accomplished in the new year–can be overwhelming. However, some of those goals will be intangible of which we will need to develop specific measures to gage achievement. These intangible goals typically positively or negatively affect the tangible goals. While most of us want more money or a bigger home, conquering laziness, for example, is the catalyst to get you there. Here are some intangible goals that has helped me reach goals and might help you as well. In 2018, here are 5 Things to stop doing to yourself.
1. Spending time with the wrong people.
We all have friend that spends most of their time letting life just happen to them. The are more focused on the next party, next outfit or shoes they are going to purchase. They have no goals for the future. And if they do, they have no plan on how to get there. They want nice things (ie. Big house, Maserati) but are not doing anything productive. Today, talk is cheap. We also have friends that are “comfortable” right where they are. They are comfortable now, but with one calamity, they wonder why they didn’t do this or that in their past. But no, not you! You want more. You want to make an impact. You want financial freedom. You want insurance…so the greatest deposit is a mentor or role model. They can give you the tips and encouragement and assistance to actually do them. Otherwise, you end up only talking about doing things or you end up comfortable.
2. Holding on to the past.
This might anger you, but LET IT GO. It has passed. Today is a new day. This is your opportunity to make changes and start cultivating the life that you want to build. Living is an art. Take those negative experiences and use them as fuel to drive your destiny in the right direction.
3. Being scared of making a mistake.
This is my biggest problem. Fearing the emergence of emotions that result due to making a mistake can be one of the biggest roadblocks that you can encounter. This is indeed self created. You have to learn to think about a time where you made a mistake, people laughed, but you shrugged it off and kept going. That same mentality, you must have anytime you make a mistake. On thing that has held me back from public speaking, it the time, when I was called on an impromptu basis to do a prayer. It was so embarrassing, the same feeling I’ve carried every since; however, there are those times when I can get up well prepared and give a small talk. You have to learn what you are comfortable with and maximize it. It is an area that I am trying to grow in daily. It takes time.
4. Trying to buy happiness.
Before, I lost weight, I would eat like no other when I was stressed. If I felt overwhelmed by a test, presentation, or dis accord, I would “celebrate” with a meal. The feeling of pleasure that I got from that release was exactly what I thought I needed. Before I knew it I was 230lbs and counting! Some people buy their way to happiness by offering to make frequent purchases for people they barely know in hopes that they will become besties eventually. Perhaps you have a habit that you engage in when you are unhappy or stressed. It can be binge eating or binge shopping. Identify what yours is and make a commitment to recognize it as it happens. Once you do this, you can redirect to an alternative activity.
5. Thinking in you are not ready.
The great Imposter Syndrome, takes the best of us out! Whenever we are looked to as an expert our immediate reaction is to pull a blanket over our heads. Your mind swirls with self-created thought as to what others are thinking about you. I call it the little gremlin. Mine sits on my left shoulder and whispers things like, ‘you aren’t as experienced as this person’, ‘what do you know’, ‘you need to know more’, ‘you need to read more’, ‘why are they recognizing you’, ‘you haven’t don anything That important’. All of these things the little gremlin will tell you, may actually have some truths in them, but overall it is lies. You will identify with the truths and automatically accept the lie. Cut it out. You are ready…..ready to grow. What you need to know, you will learn.